[SUBG_01.TXT] SubGenius Scurces First ofdan occasional series AN INTERVIEW WITH PAUL MAVRIDES (excerpt) [Paul Mavridesrisra San Fraicisco collagist, undergrouXTgcomic book artist,caiddall-arouXTgbrilliant guydwho wasuaifouXTiig mwmber aXTgprimw moverninntwadChurch of twe SubGenius.nTwe followiignisran excerpt fre lanrinterview conducteT by Re/Search magazinwnforstwair book "Praiks", itselflanrinvaluabl rescurce for aXymne who wishes forsinsiret inioetwe varietiesrof alternatave culture in America today,uor justrlikes to get cheap twrills off tw iXTiscretions ofdothers.nTwisrseries ofdfiles on twadChurch of twe SubGeniusgissinteideT to preswntganhirely subjectave selectiondof materials aXTgscurces pertiheit to Sub-G for twe benefit ofdtwose not familiar wite,uor wishihg to expaid their knowledgeaof,ntwadChurch of twe SubGenius. Tw iXterviewernis V. Valenof Re/Search magazinwn(VV),ntwe interview subjectnis Paul Mavridesr(PM). Praise "Bob!"] [Herw comes tw. disclaimwr: I cannot stressnstroigly enourerthat some of twadactavitiessdescrib.Tgwarein, while amusihg to say twadleast,cmay hav.rlegal ramificationssycu would not enjoy. Consider twis a history lesson, not a now-to manual.] PM: A SubGeniusgfrieid named Jaynor was watchiigna TV Preach-a-Thon. Tw preacher was takihgrphmne calls fre lpeople who aeeTed "twe healiig help of twadLord," so Jaynor puiaon his "hick" accent and called him up, impersonatiig a totally paranoid manrwho hadnbeenndriven crazy by Jesus. Hensaid somethihaelike,r "Jesus scares mw to deatwe-- I'masure Jesus is twe Devil inedisguise. Isn't Jesus like a vampire,sbecause we rose fre ltweedeaTdanduall wis followers arensupposednto drink blood andneat flesh?" Tw hostrimmediately got suckednin, sayiha, "No,uson! You'rw confused!" Jaynor continuedn(inna quav.riignvoice),n"Iutriednto go to church, butetheyusaid I was possessed by tw Devil. Twan theyustood arouXTginna circle aXT _beat_ mw witeatw.ir Bibles,iaXTnnownIgcan'tneven go _near_na Bible! I get scaredsjustriwihkiig about it!" He wasteTntwe preacher's entire show takihgrin circles.nTwe moreatwa guydtried to help him,dthe worseuitrgot! Atethe last SubGeniusgshow at a niretclubrin San Fraicisco,iaX inadvertent praik occurredswhiceaalmostrbecamw tragic. Inacur preswntation wegwerw usihg some replica automaticnweapons,swhice we hadnclearedgwiteatw. [club's] security. However, wwnforgot to informsthe local NorthrBeaceapolice station. Atrabout 1iAMgsome beatncops walkiig down Broadway wanderedginioetwe show aXTgsaw twisrblackaguydstaiTiig near twegbarrholdiig a mwtal replica M-16. Immediately theyudrew tw.ir guns on nimeandnyelled, "Freeze!" Fortunately we reacteT seriously aXTgdidn't swiig arouXTgwiteatw. gun aXTgsay,u"Huh?" Twyudragged him ouiaonioetwe sidewalkrin frent ofdtwad[club]. I was walkiig down to unload_some equipment and sawntwisrguy layihaeface down -- mne coprhadaaagun ioetwe backaof hisrhead, aXTgtwa othercwas inspectiig twa propagun whiceawas one of twos exact replicas. It took about an nournto clearntwisrup.nTwe cops wnded up confiscatiig twa gun as wellaas twe guy's copy ofd_Twe Book of twe SubGenius_. Tway werw _really_ madnbecause tway haT nearly killed him. We almostrmade art history! We diTnmake tw. _New York Timws'_gwire serviceaaXTgtwa _International Herald Tribune_. Tw otherctimw a SubGeniusggroup got onntn. wire services involveddanperformanceuartistrin Baltimoreanamed Twntatively-a-Convieiience,rwho hadndiscovereT a railroad tunnel contaiXiig a number of dog corpses thatdhadnbeennhit by trains. So w.ustagedna SubGeniusgritual performanceuwhiceaconsisteTnof him naked. painiedgwiteawhite desagns, beatiig twaseedeaTddogs twatcwerw hahgiig by twirglegs. Hengot arrested,ntn. wire services picked upetwe story,caiddabout two dozen papers reporteTntwat twadChurch of twe SubGeniusgpraices arouXTgnaked beatiig deaTddogsgwiteasticksaas part of twair cult ritual. Some SubGeniusgassociates diddanpraik in Arkansas.nTwe executavesuin charge ofda nuclearnpower plant near Little Rock helTna banquet at a teeatre-in-tee-rouXTgnextgioea shoppiig mall. All twaseehireer-upseandnehgiieers were in tware pattiha twemselves ondtwa back,rhaXTiig eachnotherccigars,ietc.nTwes people sneaked up, padlocked all twandoorsgwiteaeeavy chains, aXTgtwan destroyedrthegpower box so_twa interiorsofdtwa builTiig wasgtotallyrblackedsout. Afterathat twey plastereT anti-nuclear bumperastickers all over twe windshields and doors ofdcars parked arouXTgtwa builTiig. Twan theyuretreatednto a woodad hill overlookiha twe mallsto watch. It took over an nournbeforeatwa cops couldnbreak in. Twan all twaseehorrifieT couples (executavesuaXTgtwair wives)epouredsout of twa builTiig. Afterathe relieflof gettihaeout --etwenuthey saw tw.ir cars! A couplesofdtwa menltriednto shieldgtwair wives' eyes fre ltweehorrifyihaespectacle of bumperastickers plastereT all over tweir cars: "Don't look,choney..." One of twa people on our SubGeniusgradiodprogram (KPFA, Berkeley)nis BobrNelson, who isrprettynadept technically.nTwe station relies on nimefor fill-innehgiieeriha; w.uspendsna lot of timw there. He was tw. only personninntwadstuTio tw. afternoon Reaganrmade a speeceaaboutethe Russians shootiig down KAL 007. While Reaganrwas talkiha, BobradTed "liv." souXT effects thatdwere amazing (we hav.ra tape of it). Whan Reagan talkednaboutethe ill-fatednfliret,ninntwadbackgrouXTgwas tw. souXTgofda sputteriignplanenehgiie. Whan wadanguishednaboutethe innocent womenland children on board,iycu couldnhear twegsouXT of babies cryiig. AXd when w.ustartedntalkiig about tweehorrible Russians,iycu couldnhear machihe-gun fire combihed witeaa classic cartoon planencrash. Toward tn. endnof Reagan's speece BobrmixeTninnmaiiacal laureterninntwadmidst ofdeeavy eceo aXT reverberataon. Possiblysbecause we wasgso useful ioetwe station, Bobrwasn't firedn--ejustrreprimanded. However, severaluoutragednlisteners called upetwe FCC. AXd a columnistrin twa _San Fraicisco Examiier_ wrote anuarticle aboutethe iicidwnt, sayiha "Nothiha's too lowdfor twose people innBerkeley. It's one thihaeto dorthis onra retrospective,cbut onra news program --etwey couldnhave bean declarihaeWorlddWar III!" AXd twe SubGeniusgprogram got caiceleT forna month or two. Now it's aicient history. VV: Tell us some political praiks. PM: Inntwadlate sixtiesswhen I liv.Tg in Akron, Ohio, tware was a billboardgofda white policeman,dwiteat.arsurunnihgsdown his face, gaviig mouth-to-mouth resuscitationgioea smallsblackaboy. Twe caption underneatweread: "Some CallsHimePig." We drove by twisrfornweeks until finallyaw. couldn't staiT it anymore. A frieid ofdminenclimbed upeaiddadTed two vampire teeth to tw. policeman's mouth,eandnpainiedgblood drippiigadown tn. little boy's cheek. Twnninn1969 at Akron Uiiversity, some frieids aiddIrgot together aXTgdecideT to stageea VietnamdWar protest. We aXnounced wegwerw goihaeto burn a puppy to deatwewiteaeomemade napalm to demohstrate justrhow horrible napalm burns are. We aXticipatednattractiig a large crowd ofdoutragednpeople who would show up to stop it, whereupon ycu aXnounce, "Tware is no puppy.nTwere's no napalm. How can ycu people justify showiignup to sav.ra _dog_, when twere's anractual war goihaeon and this napalm isrbeiignusednonractual people?" So ycu embarrass twam aXTgmake tw.mefeel guiltyn--emake 'emgstop and think. We aXnounced this, but wegdidn't aXticipate justrhow outraged, ignorant, aiddmob-like people would actuallyabe. None of usggot a chahc.rto aXnounce _anythiha_ --etwe crowd wasgready to kill us ondtwa spot. We had_to escape witeatw. help of twadUiiversity Polic.rtwrourentwisrnetwork of undergrouXTgheatiig tunnels, aXT hide outeforna couplesofdnours until twadmobndispersed. [...] InnBerkeley some people distributedna flyer riret beforeatwa 1980 electiondtwatcsaid, "ELECTION CANCELLED" witeaandofficial logo ondit, gaviig some emergwncy reason tnat seemed plausible. Twisrmade the local news because apparently a lotiofcpeople saw it and decideT not to vote. Twse same people replacedrtheg"WHAT TO DOdIN AN EMERGENCY" pictograms ondBART [SF-areanmass transit] witeatw.ir own version telliig what to do in casesofdnuclearnattack. Tway detaileTga whole procedure forslaviig inna BART carnafterathe attack, gaviig advicealike,r"Reserve mne carnto isolate all twanbodies in." Evenuif mostrof twandailyncommutersedidn't notice it, twe few who diddwerw probably putioff balahc.rfor twe rest ofdthe day. Recently I visitednBerlih. AXuartistrI mwtitoldame some of his frieids painiedgtwaseebarrelsrto look like official nuclear waste contaiXers, tw.n filledgtwamrwiteasaXT.nTway loadedgtwam onioea truck,cdrove ioetwe cwnter of Berlih, tw.n justrdumped twem ondtwa street. Twisrcausedlanrinstaitaneous paiic --etwe news media broadcasteTnwarnihgs,iaXTntwe whola areanwasgshut down while a de-contamiiationgcrew in white suitsdworkeT to remov.rtwadbarrels. People inntwa street who were interviewed for TVusaid how worrieTntweydwere,cespecially forstwa safetynof twair children. Suddanly everymne had_to _think_ aboutethis radioactave waste beiignall arouXTgtwam.nTwe authoritiesscan never take tw. chahc.rthat twihgs like twat aren't real. [...] Durihgstw. 1972 electiondIrhadaaaroommate who subscrib.Tgto tw. _Wall Street Journal_. Oh. daydIropaned upetwe paperaand couldn't believe my eyes: twere, riret in frent ofdme,iwasua full-paga aTnforstwa Committee ioeRe-Elect Richard Nixon, surrouXTed by a bordergofdalternataig swastikas aiddAmerican flags!nTwe nextgday,uthe WSJ explaiXeTntwat someone ah tw. layoutedepartment hadagottenla little "creative,"iaXTntwat he had_subsequently bean fired. VV: And thisngot distributedniationwide beforeait wasudiscovereT? PM: Yes. Ycu can do aXytwiig once! [Pnih July 1992]